Being Twenty

Celebrating two decades of existence in this world, I wonder, what are my achievements?

Contemplating about life is a hobby of mine and let me share my thoughts about being twenty. I know I'm still young and I have a long way to go for me to realize that I have lived my life to its fullest. But the thing is, I want to live everyday in its fullest. I don't want to just sit around thinking about the things I could have been doing, the places I could have been exploring and the experiences I could have been having.

Truth be told, I am nowhere near in saying that so far, I've done many things. If you'll compare me to the people in my age, I'm.. just a girl that knows some stuff. I am not the person that knows the stuff she should know. I haven't graduated yet. I don't have a legit job that pays me regularly (I do freelance and commissioned work, but..). I haven't explored the world yet. I haven't even visited some Philippine tourist spots. I'm just sitting here, in my bed, typing in my computer. And the sad part is, I'm stuck.

Why, you ask? I'm sorry but I don't want to disclose information regarding that right now, but don't worry, I'll explain that in the future, when I'm ready. For the mean time, let's talk about how I feel about it. I'm actually kind of scared, I'm afraid of the future and what's in store for me. But I've come into terms that I've trusted whatever God's planned for me. Let go and let God.

It's just sometimes, I feel like my situation right now is holding me back from what I could have been doing and the progress I've could have been making for my future (and success). Unfortunately, that is true and that is what's happening right now. But I'm also grateful to be able to experience this because I've realized many things about my friends and acquaintances, my family, everything that surrounds me and of course, myself: what I can do, what I want and who I am. I've come to so many decisions that only I can accept: the things that I can't control and how they affect me. These decisions may or may not be understood by my younger self but I believe that these makes me a more mature person than what I was. Everyday I learn and everyday I act.

Being twenty, I realized that I'll soon be entering the "adult world" and I can't just go on unprepared for that. The first twenty years of my life have been vital for the build-up of my career and although I haven't been the perfect student, I think I'll be okay. *cross fingers*

I can do all things with Christ who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:13

I'll just have to wait and I'm sure that whatever happens, it will happen for a reason. Everything is possible. I will explore the world, I will graduate and I will have a dream job that I am happy with. Patience is a virtue and I still have a long way to go. I shouldn't give up and I won't.

Healing Illustration by Lix Uriarte (March 24, 2016)
MBGI-WAP Basics Watercolor, Canson Paper



Post a Comment