Life Lately: From One Place To Another

Hi. How have you been? It's.. been a long time since my last post, isn't it? Almost a year, yes. Sorry about that, in case you've been waiting. There have been lots of stuff happening everywhere in the world and in my life. But here I am now and I will tell you the things that I've been doing for the past several months.

Let me start by saying that I've moved. Since October, I've been living in the US and I'll be staying here for good. Maybe it's not a big deal for some of you, but this whole migrating thing has been a huge thing for me. Not in a bragging way of course, who would want to brag about leaving home?

At first, I didn't know how to handle the news. There were good and bad sides to this, half of me wanted to go and half of me didn't. Truth be told, one of the reasons why I wanted to go was to "start anew" and I believed that I will have a better chance at life here. I wanted to leave the bad parts of my life behind and then go with all the good things I have with me. But at the same time, it was hard to leave the things I've known for twenty years: family, relatives, friends, memories and others. I treasure them all.

The process took ages. There were lots of setbacks and I have been idle for a long time. I'm supposed to be a graduating student by now, studying for exams but I'm not. I stopped going to school when I finished my junior year in college. Back then, I still had to to take two more years before I graduate and we thought it'll be a waste of time, effort and money if I continue studying since I'll be moving anyway. We thought it'll just take a couple of months, but unfortunately, it took us more than a year. Imagine the things I could have learned in that span of time. Imagine the memories and the experience I could have shared with my friends and acquaintances. Imagine the possible progress or accomplishments I could have made with my life. Imagine the amount of sadness and anxiety I felt when I was alone in my room, thinking about my future. "Hang in there", I told myself everyday when I realize how much I've been missing out. "It'll be better soon".

While waiting for the process to progress, I tried to be productive in my own way, though. I started working online: taking commissions, creating web content, writing articles for various clients and more freelancing here and there. I've kept myself busy while earning some money at the same time. I was content at first but then the inevitable stress came in so I had to stop. I took a break for a while and got a better opportunity. I accepted a job offer in which I teach English to a Korean. It was a good job, gives a decent pay and I was content. But then it had to stop because of plan changes from the other party and its totally okay. Unfortunately though, I'm back to being idle.

Once in a while, I meet-up and hang-out with friends to ease my sanity. I appreciate the abundance of effort they gave just to spend time with me but I also understand the lack of it. My parents tried to make me happy, satisfied and busy enough by letting me do what I want in the house. It was fine. But it went to the point that I have this boring routine: I wake up, I eat, I bathe, I go online, I sleep. I tend to do some things when I'm in the mood, like painting and binge watching shows. For months, that was my basic schedule.

I shed tears of course. Once publicly, lots of times by myself. I'll spare the details, of course. You don't need a whole paragraph of a dramatic description of me crying. But the thought of leaving the past twenty years of my life gave me heartaches and heartbreaks. Eventually, I gathered myself up and told myself that I'll be fine. Everything will be fine. Sooner or later.

Suddenly, we got very busy. We went to places, done lots of stuff regarding the process and finally, we're done. We got our visa in no time and the only thing left for us to do was to buy plane tickets. I've distracted myself long enough to blind myself about the upcoming struggles I'll face. The goodbyes, the adjustments and the regrets. After a month or two of additional waiting, I was overwhelmed by how my schedule became very hectic. I had to plan and manage my time well. I had to learn how to drive a car with manual transmission within 4 days while I spend the rest of my time purchasing the things I need when we move. I also had to meet-up with some friends for farewells and then pack our stuff. It was crazy.

D-day came. We were all busy with packing and moving, then got some little sleep. We drove to the airport and then said goodbyes to family and relatives. It wasn't your typical scene from the dramas though, no one cried. Maybe we were all tired and sleepy, no energy to cry, maybe we just don't wanna spoil the mood or maybe we still haven't taken in the whole situation yet. After that, we went inside, waited for the counters to open, checked in, spent our last Philippine money buying some coffee and pastry, waited some more to board the plane and then boarded the plane.

Goodbye Philippines. It's been great.

Now here I am, trying to cope up with all the American living. It's different and I've realized a lot of things ever since I left the place I once called home. I'm giving my best to use this opportunity of starting a new in life and letting myself grab that chance of being a better person in a new environment. Learning from my mistakes will be a huge help, together with the kind people who are willing to help me and my family. I'm also motivating myself to do productive things everyday and I will not stop until I achieve all of my goals.

I'm thankful to God for the whole blessing because it made me the person I am right now, stronger than I was before. I learned and experienced lots of things in this journey and I'm grateful to the people who helped along the way.

I still have a long way to go. And I'm starting step by step.

And that's all I can update for now. Thank you for reading this long, word-heavy post. I've contemplated a lot for this and I'm happy to share some events from my personal life in this blog of mine. Expect new posts from me because I'll dedicate some of my time for this and I have few content that I would like to share. Once again, thank you for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day. God bless.

♥, Lix



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